Life After Death
by foureverbookworm
Summary: It had been a year since his children had been taken by escaped Death Eaters, Harry still doesn't know what happened. Now he's left to help his kids pick up the pieces. After all, if there is a life after death, perhaps there's a life after tragedy. Yet, no one can foresee problems that still lurk. No one is really sure if there is a life after death. Kind of James-centeric.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Anything you recognize isn't mine, anything you don't most probably is!**

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

James Potter looked wildly around the circular room, his hand shaking slightly as he wielded his wand, eyes swiveling from one dark figure to another. A mask of bravery hid the fear on the thirteen year old's face.

Behind him, ten year old Lily, just a little girl, was crying and shaking in fear, sitting against a wall and clutching a limp body, Albus. The twelve year old had already been knocked cold.

"You stay away! You here!?" He shouted at his foes. They laughed coldly, sending chills down his spine.

His right hand still clutching his wand, James allowed his left hand to feel along the wall behind him. Panic filled him when it felt nothing. With one last shred of hope, he kicked out his leg behind him. A faint clang of metal. So faint that only he and Lily heard it.

"Oh you can try to be brave." one of his opponents hissed. "But we know the truth."

Another one cackled. "We can smell fear. You reek of it!"

"Lily," the boy whispered as the enemy rattled on. "behind me, there's a vent."

"James no!" She exclaimed quietly, knowing what he was saying.

"It's the only way!" He hissed.

"You can _never _escape!" One of them yelled.

James gulped, stealing himself. "Oh yea?" With that challenge, he suddenly whirled around, pointing his wand at the small vent.

"Alohomora!" He screamed causing the vent to pop open. "Lily go!"

"James-!" She cried.

"Take Al and go!" He ordered as the foes rounded on him, drawing their own wands. "I'll hold them off!"

Tears streaming down her face, Lily grabbed Al's body and slid into the vent, quickly beginning to drag her brother through. She may have been young but she understood what James had done, the vent was too small for their large captors but it would take a while to get through it. James was going to risk his life to give Lily and Al time, time to live.

"You son of a-" The man's shout was cut off by James shooting a spell at him. With a growl, the man dodged it.

The thirteen year old boy lasted approximately one minute before he found his wand flying out of his hand and his body being slammed against a wall.

He cried out in pain as rough hands tossed him into the center of the room. Suddenly, he was lifted into the air again, being held up against someone with an iron grip.

""What're we gonna do wit' 'im?" the man who was holding the struggling boy asked.

"First off, someone get to wherever the other two will end up!" An authoritative voice commanded. "As for this one, he deserves a little punishment doesn't he? Torture him. Oooh and kill one of the little ones."

"NO!" James screamed. With all his remaining might, the black haired boy kicked out at his captor and found himself falling to the ground.

Without pausing, he ran, heading straight for the vent and diving in. One of the men tried to follow him, only to find themselves stuck.

Adrenaline coursing through his body, James hurried down the vent, pulling his body along with strength he didn't know he possessed. Soon, he had caught up with Lily who was struggling to pull Albus along.

"James!" She screamed, the relief evident on her face. "James, I can't get his through. We're gonna be stuck! We're gonna die!" She sobbed hysterically.

He stroked her hair gently. "No we're not. Not if we keep moving." His voice was kind but firm. "I'll take Al."

He pulled the limp body onto his back and kept moving, keeping Lily in front of him and in sight.

"James, we've reached a gate!" Her voice exclaimed.

"Good, excellent." he said, hoping what he was saying was true.

Praying that the gate would open up to outside, he pointed his wand at it from over Lily's shoulder, "Alohomora!"

It popped open and James nearly sighed in relief at the sunlight that came blazing in.

"Go!" He urged his sister.

She did as told, jumping into the daylight followed by Al's body and then James.

"THERE THEY ARE!" A voice called.

James turned around in surprise and felt a plummeting feeling. They were all there, running towards them. He had a few meters head start but there were so much more of them.

"LILY RUN!" He screamed, tossing Al's body over his shoulder and grabbing her hand.

He pulled her along, running faster than he ever had in his life, shooting random curses behind him in an attempt to slow the charging heard of enemies.

"James! Motorbikes!" Lily exclaimed, pointing a few meters in front of them.

A wild and crazy idea in his mind, he pulled her towards one of the motorbikes and tossed her onto it before jumping on it himself and placing his unconscious brother between them.

Frantically, he searched for the key, terrified when he couldn't find it. They were getting closer!

Closer!

They were almost onto him!

"WORK!" Lily screamed desperately at the bike.

Miracles were something James had never really believed in 'till then. But, by some wonderful twist of fate, the ten year old's accidental magic caused the bike to rumble to life and lurch forward.

"Hold on to me!" He told his sister before pressing his foot on the peddle and leaving their captors behind in the dust.

They had escaped.

* * *

**Author's Note: So... this is the prologue... of a new fic... I'm going to post the first chapter in about three-five minutes... I'm prepared! I hope you like it!**

**Thanks!**

**~Foureverbookworm**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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**CHAPTER ONE**

It had been a year since his children had been taken by escaped Death Eaters. Twelve months since that fateful Christmas. Eight months since his children had been discovered in a small town in France, beaten and unconscious by a motorbike on the side of the road. Eight months since they had been rushed to St. Mungo's. Eight months since Lily had cried in his arms while Ginny fussed over Al. Eight months since he'd seen James slide down the wall looking ten years older than he was.

Eight months.

And Harry Potter still didn't know what had happened.

He and Ginny still wondered, what hell had their precious children been through? They refrained from asking though. It troubled the three, they didn't like to speak of it.

Yet, whatever it was, had changed them. It showed.

It showed in the way Lily constantly talked to fill any silence. Always looking for the next thing to do. Looking for a new thing to learn, to master. Anything to keep her mind from wandering.

It showed in the way Albus searched through bookshelves and odd vases or decor, hoarding whatever he found. His collection of dung bombs, exploding balloons, and healing potions was quite large and Al carried it around in a small box. Small enough, to the eye, to fit in his pocket but charmed with an undetectable extension charm. Anything to be prepared.

It, oddly enough, showed in the way James didn't show it. Hiding his feelings, putting his siblings before him. Always. He had become fiercely protective of them. He had a strong facade as he comforted his siblings, never expecting or getting comfort himself. He was always on guard, his eyes searching every room for possible exits. Anything to never show his feelings.

Until night came.

Oh night was a horror for the Potter children.

When Lily's mind had nothing to do but wander. When Al didn't have anything to arm himself with. And when James didn't have an eye on his siblings.

Lily and Al's screams had penetrated the house almost every night and it was always James who got their first. When Harry and Ginny ran in to whichever room the screams had come from, James was always by the bed, soothing his sibling, wide eyed but ever so strong.

The nurse had said it was normal that they were having issues sleeping. That it meant they weren't thinking about it during the day, that was an improvement. She said it would stop soon.

Lily had taken to sleeping in Harry and Ginny's room to feel safer.

James never had a nightmare. It was odd. He would always be there to comfort, but he never showed signs of wanting or needing comfort. There were never screams coming from his room.

In fact, Harry had begun to suspect James wasn't sleeping at all.

Then came time for school to start again. James and Albus had caught up on the year they had missed most of and Lily would be starting school.

At first, Ginny hadn't wanted to send them and Harry had his doubts as well. At school, they were sure to be pestered with questions about their ordeal, not to mention the fact that there would be no one there to help them deal with nightmares.

But the kids had wanted to go and the nurse had said that it would be good for them to continue with normal life so the Potters had consented.

The first problem faced was the difference in houses. Albus was a Ravenclaw while James was a Gryffindor. The parents had been relieved when Lily had sent them a letter telling them she too had been sorted into Ravenclaw. At least the two youngest had each other.

From what they could tell, the three children stayed together mostly when outside of class. Al, the most social one, eventually reconnected with his old friends and following his lead, Lily befriended a few people. After all, she was hard not to like. James had very few friends before his kidnapping but they let him take his time until he eventually rejoined them. His closest friend, a muggle born girl named Emmeline, had hugged him so tightly when she saw him. Still, the three Potters were rarely far from each other.

People had learned not to ask about what had happened. They had learned that Lily would burst into tears and Albus would hyperventilate and James would be there to growl at whoever upset his siblings. Harry and Ginny weren't sure how James reacted when asked alone. He was so mysterious now.

And so life had gone on in some twisted way.

Now it was Christmas again and the kids were in their beds, excited for the upcoming holidays. Hoping they would be far better than last years.

Harry couldn't sleep. He kept getting up and going to his kids' rooms to make sure they were there, safe.

At around three in the morning, he rose again to check on them. He padded softly to James' room first. The boy had been asleep the last few times to Harry's delight. He needed the rest.

The father eased open the door and peered inside. Panic fluttered through his chest, the bed was empty.

Fighting to stay calm, Harry rushed to Al's room next door, throwing open the door.

There was a loud gasp and before Harry knew what was happening James' wand was pointed straight at him.

"James!?" Harry whispered. He could make out the figure of his son, standing tall by Al's bed, his hand shaking ever so slightly.

"D-dad. Sorry." James answered, lowering his wand. "You startled me."

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked putting an arm around his son's shoulder. Why was James so thin?

"I just- I couldn't sleep. I wanted to make sure they were okay." He gestured towards the bed which Harry saw had not one but two sleeping figures. "Lily sleeps with Al at school a lot. I think it helps to keep nightmares away for both of them."

"And who helps you, James?" Harry questioned softly, leaning to kiss the top of his boy's head.

"I-I don't-" James stuttered. "I'm fine. I'm fine as long as they are."

Harry kissed his other two children before leading James out of the room. "James, love, you don't have to be so strong. It's okay to tell us how you feel."

James shook his curly black mop vehemently. "No it's not! They need me to be alright. So I can watch after them! I don't need help, I'm fine."

"Jamie," Harry murmured using an old nickname. "You don't have to watch over them anymore. Mummy and I are here. Neville and Minerva are at school. You don't have to be alright for them."

"But I do have to be!" He protested earnestly, looking up at his father. "And even if I didn't, it wouldn't matter 'cause I'm fine."

Harry noted the rather frequent use of the phrase "I'm fine". It seemed so rehearsed.

He sighed and pulled his son close, rocking him gently. "You need to sleep, love. You look dead on your feet."

James shook his head. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

Though Harry didn't know, the real reason was because every time he did sleep, James relived the events. The pain, the screaming, the despair. He had to show his siblings that he was still okay and there for them. He had to be alert. He couldn't scream.

Even then he had tried not to scream. Not when his siblings could hear him. Oh how he had wanted to sometimes. And when they pointed wands at him and whispered that word that caused pure pain to arch through his body, he couldn't help but scream, though he tried to conceal it. In fact, it was almost a mercy when they had dragged him far away, so far that Lily and Al wouldn't hear him when he screamed. Then he would, he would scream in pure unadulterated agony. But never so easily in front of them. It just wouldn't do if everybody fell apart and James was not going to deprive his siblings of the luxury that was falling apart. Not ever.

"Jamie, you need to sleep." Harry coaxed. "Mummy and I are worried about you."

"You shouldn't be!" He told his father. "I'm fine. Worry about Al and Lily."

"We are." Harry promised. "But we know you aren't fine. Come on, you need to sleep. It's okay if you have nightmares."

"I-I do sleep." James countered.

Harry sighed. It was obvious he wasn't getting anywhere. "Well, then off to bed."

James gave one last glance at Al's bedroom door before padding to his own.

Harry made sure his eldest child was in bed and under the covers at least before walking back to his own room, ruffling his hair.

When he walked in, he found Ginny sitting up on the bed, waiting for him. "What happened?" She asked, concern evident in her soft voice.

With another tired sigh, Harry collapsed on the bed next to her, running a hand through her red hair. "James." He answered.

At her questioning look, he recounted the earlier incident. "I never thought James would become so, so…"

"Messed up?" Ginny suggested quietly.

The father nodded forlornly.

For him, James' transformation was so difficult. Though he was close with all his children, James and him had a special relationship while Ginny tended to spend more time with Al and Lily. They were more like her and James had been different with his devil may care attitude that hid how insecure he was.

That was one thing, James was always good with masks. He had always masked hurt and sensitivity. Never truly showed what he was feeling, choosing to act funny and indifferent instead. James' facades were always something Harry, and with time Lily, had been able to read. Now his masks were stronger than ever, but hiding different things. Now he was hiding how much he was being effected by a horrendous ordeal. And Harry couldn't read him.

The nurse had told him enough for him to speculate something of what James had been through. She had pulled him aside muttering about how all three children showed signs of being tortured but James had shown far more, both physical and emotional. It seemed that the death eaters had dabbled in some muggle ways as well as the cruciatus curse.

Harry could vividly picture James running in front of his siblings and offering himself to protect them. And that was why they now clung to him and he to them.

All three of his children were broken and he had no idea how to fix them.

"Ginny, they were _tortured! _And-and I have felt it. It's like every bone in your body is breaking and burning. It's not meant to do anything other than cause pure pain, and oh god it does! I barely could take 30 seconds of it when I was fourteen. And they all had to take so much more! I don't know how we can even begin to understand what they need without knowing what they've been through!"

"I know." She said quietly.

"They don't want to talk about it, I understand that but there has to some way." He carded a hand through his already rumpled hair in frustration.

"What can we do?" Ginny asked, a hint of despair in her voice too. She hated seeing her children, her precious babies, so hurt, yes. However, she knew it was worse for her husband. He had managed to convince himself it was his fault that the kids were put through whatever it was that happened to them.

"I'm going to ask Dumbledore tomorrow." He answered. "Minerva gave me access to the portrait at any time. Maybe he'll know what to do."

Ginny nodded. "That's a good idea." She kissed her husband's lips lovingly before laying back down. "For now, let's sleep though."

* * *

James hadn't been lying when he told his Dad that he slept. He did. Just not at home. Not when his siblings and parents could hear him if he screamed. Even in school he always put a silencing charm around his bed so his dorm mates wouldn't hear him. Unfortunately, he couldn't really put one at home, he wasn't allowed to do magic away from Hogwarts.

The thing was, every time James closed his eyes and stopped guarding himself, he remembered everything. The pain, the fear, the despair, the tears, everything.

The last time he had slept, back in the dormitory, he had flashed back to the first time they had hurt him.

* * *

Lily clutched at Albus as James stood in front of them, shielding them with his arms. It was their fifth or sixth day in the horrid place, wherever it was. They had been locked in a cold room with an unfinished floor and minimal lighting.

"What do you want with us?!" He yelled, asking what he had already asked several times before but hoping to finally get an answer.

"Hmm." One man paused mockingly as if thinking. "I think I'll definately tell you that."

James had identified him as the leader of the group. He was a pale skinned man, probably paler than he had been before Azkaban. His skin contrasted dramatically with his dark hair and cold brown eyes. Careful listening had informed James that this man's name was Dolohov. James knew that name from the stories his father told him. Dolohov was the reason Teddy had no father and mother.

"Well you better!" The boy ordered, sounding infinitely more courageous than he felt.

The crowd of Death Eaters laughed.

"Would you look at that." One of them, a pallid man with black hair that looked rather like Frankenstein, cackled. "Just like his Daddy, this one. Trying to act brave."

"Now then Amycus," Dolohov said still looking at James patronizingly. "He is a little Gryffindor after all."

"An insolent one." Amycus's sister, the only female, snapped.

"Yes." Dolohov mused. "He is, isn't he." He reached out a hand as if to strike the boy, who backed away.

The crowd jeered again.

"Not so brave after all, are you?" Alecto laughed heartily. "And your little siblings most certainly aren't." She moved towards the huddled forms of Lily and Albus but found James in her way.

"Leave them alone." He snarled.

Dolohov rolled his eyes. "Oh never mind all this. Look munchkin, we'll cut to the chase. Your Daddy gave us so much grief, we thought we'd return the favor. You three will complete a series of...challenges to test your skills every day. Fail, and you get punished. It's simple."

"Lily can't do magic yet!" James exclaimed horrified. "You can't make her do this!"

"Watch me." Dolohov sneered.

"NO!" James screamed, lashing out and punching the evil man in the face.

He growled. "Alecto, get the girl."

The red haired woman grabbed the screaming red haired girl from Albus, who desperately tried to hold onto her, and dragged her to the center of the room.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" James struggled against Amycus as the Death Eater held him back.

Dolohov rounded on the crying girl, pointing his wand at her. "Crucio!" He hissed.

Lily screamed in agony as her body writhed on the floor. Her cries of pain echoed through the room, bouncing around the room.

"STOP!" James broke free of his captor and charged towards Dolohov, pushing him away from the pained girl.

Lily lay limp on the floor as the pain stopped flooding through her body. Albus ran forward and gathered the dazed, but awake, girl in his arms before pulling her back to the side of the wall, shooting a frightened look at James.

"If you want to hurt someone, you hurt me." James said in a low voice. "Don't touch my sister or my brother."

"You want to be hurt?" Dolohov challenged. "Fine." He grabbed James's arm and pulled him towards him, forcing him to the ground. "You'll be hurt."

James raised his brown eyes to meet the cruel man's, but stayed silent.

Dolohov looked at James as if there was no one else but him and the kneeling boy in the room, pointing his wand at him deliberately. "Crucio." He whispered.

It was pain like James had never felt before. It felt as if fire was coursing through his veins as a thousand knives cut him over and over again. Every bone in his body was shattering and all the pain that would cause was doubled, no tripled, no it was impossible to describe the amount of pain. What James was feeling, that was the quintessence of pain.

He tried, he really did. He screwed up his face as his body thrashed on the floor, trying not to scream. He couldn't help it though. He really couldn't. He opened his mouth and let out a scream of pure anguish, and then another one. Suddenly, he couldn't stop screaming as he gasped for breath. He wasn't sure how long it went on, Albus later told him it was at least five minutes.

Just as suddenly as it had come, the pain left leaving the thirteen boy lying on his back on the cold floor, seeing black spots as he weakly attempted to get up.

He winced as Dolohov lifted him up by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him close. "That is pain." He hissed. "That is what you will feel if you do not cooperate. And I won't always be so lenient as to save your little siblings."

With that, he threw the boy to the floor and walked out, followed by the party of death eaters.

James hurried to his feet, ignoring how much he wanted to just lay on the floor, and ran to his brother and sister.

"Lily, are you okay?" He asked worriedly stroking her hair.

She sniffed pitifully and nodded, burying her face in his chest. "That really hurt, Jamie." She mumbled.

James kissed the top of her head. "I know, Lils, I know. It's gonna be okay." He looked up at his brother. "Al, you okay?"

Albus nodded, white faced. "Am I? What about you? They just-"

James held a finger to his mouth, cutting him off, and shook his head, nodding to Lily.

Albus bit his lip and nodded, understanding. Lily was already shaken up from being tortured herself and watching James. They needed to focus on her.

The green eyed boy joined his older brother in wrapping the youngest in a hug. Seeing that James's strength was slowly fading, Albus opened his mouth and in a shaky voice, began to sing a lullaby Ginny often sang to Lily.

As Albus sang, James slowly rocked his sister, until she was asleep.

As soon as Lily had fallen into the blissful escape of slumber, James gently placed her on the floor. "Y-you sleep too Albus." he murmured trying to keep together.

"No." The boy said obstinately. "You were hurt James! You need to rest!"

"I-I'm fine." James lied. "Albus, please."

* * *

James shook himself. He wasn't there anymore. He was safe in his bed at home with Lily and Albus peacefully slumbering right next doors and his parents down the hall. He glanced at the clock hanging on his wall.

4:30 a.m

Not too early to be up, he decided. Just as he was about to get out of bed, he remembered his dad's face.

"_Mummy and I are worried about you."_

For the sake of his dad's sanity he had to at least act like he was okay and asleep. With a sigh, James lay back down, trying not to think of what had happened a year earlier.

Trying not to think about being accosted in his bed that night when his parents were at the Ministry's Christmas Party.

Trying not to think about seeing Lily, who had been so excited about presents and having her brother's back, being thrown on to a portkey before he and Albus were thrown after her.

Trying not to think about the panic he'd felt when they found themselves in a strange and empty room.

Trying not to think about the fear that had spiked through his body as Death Eaters had filled the room, pulling off their masks one by one.

And there he was thinking about it again. He just couldn't seem to stop.

He rolled over in his bed, yawning. He really wanted to sleep, he hadn't slept properly in months, but he didn't trust himself to be able to fight off terrors that lurked in his mind.

Insead, he grabbed a book from his bag and stared at the words on the page until he heard the sounds of his mother and father in the kitchen.

Harry wished he could say he was surprised when James came padding into the kitchen ten minutes after he and Ginny. It seemed the boy still hadn't slept.

"Mornin' Jamie." He greeted, sipping at his coffee. Then, just because his son looked so much like a deer in headlights at his knowing look, Harry asked: "Slept well?"

James nodded. "Mmhmm. I'm starving, what's for breakfast?"

"Whatever you want dear." Ginny told him, wrapping him in a hug.

"Pancakes?" He asked, knowing Lily would appreciate it.

Ginny smiled, trying not to show how worried she was. She knew he was thinking of his siblings before himself, even in a simple matter such as breakfast. "Of course love." She said, busying herself with making batter.

James quietly poured himself some orange juice and sat beside his father, who was studying _The Daily Prophet. _

"Any news?" James asked.

Harry didn't need to ask for specifics. He knew what his son was asking. "No." He sighed, putting the paper down. "We are looking though, James, we will find them."

The fourteen year old nodded, hoping his father was right.

* * *

"Lils, wake up, Lily!" Albus shook his sister slightly. It was almost ten and he could hear the rest of his family in the kitchen.

Her eyes flew open and she jumped away from him with a gasp.

"Woah! Lily, it's okay. It's me, Al, we are at home."

"I-I know. Sorry." She mumbled. "I just-"

He smiled. "It's okay, I know."

She returned his smile weakly before getting out of bed. "We should get down stairs."

When the two youngest Potters arrived in the kitchen, they found their parents and James sitting around the kitchen table and two plates of pancakes waiting for them.

"Pancakes!" Lily exclaimed happily as she threw herself into a seat and began drenching her favorite breakfast in syrup. "Did you know pancakes date back to the 15th century?"

Her family laughed.

"Nope." James said fondly. "I had no clue."

"Well, did you know you should eat aforementioned pancakes?" Albus asked, noting his older brother's untouched plate as he covered his own pancakes in syrup.

"I was just waiting for you two." James stated taking a bite. "These are really good by the way, Mum."

"Thank you, James." Ginny said, glad he was eating.

Albus are his pancake slowly, savoring each bite. Food had been scarce last year and ever since then he'd taken to enjoying everything.

Lily, on the other hand, wolfed her food down as if she was still being starved.

What was a marvel to Albus was how his older brother appeared to have normal eating habits.

In truth, none of them were okay, but James seemed so okay to Albus. He never had nightmares, no eating problems, nothing. It was almost comforting to know recovery was possible.

Albus hadn't slept without nightmares for ages. Having Lily helped him. It kept him grounded to not be so utterly alone. He knew it was the same for her. It was almost as if just having someone was enough to fight off the demons that haunted their dreams.

"What do you guys want to do today?" Harry asked as he washed the dishes.

"I don't know." Came the chorus of replies from his children.

Honestly, Albus had been diving into his school work so much that he had no idea what to do with his free time now.

Knowing Lily, she would probably go and look up random facts or something just to keep herself occupied.

He himself would probably read a book or perhaps look in the Potter's ancient basement for odd trinkets.

His mother would probably work on an article for _The Prophet. _Or read _Witch Weekly. _

His dad was sure to work on finding some dark wizard, probably Dolohov.

As for James, Albus wasn't sure what James even did in his free time.

"You want to play some exploding snap or something?" Said older brother suggested.

"Sure!" Lily chirped. "Sounds fun!"

"Al?"

"Of course." He replied.

"Harry and I will join you three." Ginny declared as her husband nodded.

Exploding snap had been something of a progress marker for Albus.

The first time after returning from France that he had played the card game hadn't gone that well. Teddy and Hugo had come to visit the Potters, who were still in the hospital. Hugo had, as he always did, run straight up to Lily and hugged her tightly. Teddy had flitted between them until he suggested a game of exploding snap. When the cards had burst the first time, Albus had been terrified. It was a stupid thing, he later thought, but the loud bang had made him think of stomping foot steps and slamming doors. Loud sounds that were quickly followed by torture or "challenges".

So, almost as if he was measuring how much he had recovered, Albus played the game hoping that he wouldn't jump at the boom. Now, he was no longer frightened by the sound, something he was quite proud of.

Harry dealt out the cards and the game began.

Maybe Al wasn't as okay as he thought. Or maybe it was just because of the unhappy anniversary. When the cards emitted their usual loud boom, he let out a shout and jumped away.

Almost immediately, James and Lily were on to him, gripping his hands, anchoring him to reality. Harry and Ginny watched anxiously as their youngest son took one shaky breath after another, visibly fighting whatever memory had resurfaced now.

To Albus, it was odd. He wasn't flashing back or having a nightmare. He knew where he was, that he was surrounded by those who loved him. It was more like memories. Seemingly random thoughts, sounds, and feelings floating in his mind and connecting to form a horrifying jigsaw puzzle of the past.

"Al," A steady voice said firmly yet kindly "You are fine. It was exploding snap. Don't think about it. Come on, you can do this. Focus back on us."

"You're doing great!" Lily added encouragingly as Al slowly began to nod.

His green eyes blinked once before losing their unfocused gaze and he shook himself. "I-I'm fine."

"No you aren't, and that's okay." James said softly. "But you will be. You've been doing much better."

Albus smiled weakly. "Could we maybe play something else?"

There was an immediate chorus of agreement from his family and an old muggle game Harry played while growing up was brought out.

Albus couldn't meet their eyes. He felt so ashamed. He thought he was over that petty fear of loud noises and now he felt like a child or a scared animal. That's how the Death Eaters had made him feel. Like a trapped and scared puppy who was constantly fearful.

How was James able to be so, so brave? Albus felt like a coward seeing his older brother who had endured more than any of them be so alright. It was comforting, yes, but at the same time he felt jealous. Why couldn't he be so strong?

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay. Here. Enjoy. Hope you like the new fic, whoever you are!**

**Please review!**

**Thanks!**

**~Foureverbookworm**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

Mrs. Molly Weasley threw her arms around her three grandchildren, pulling them close to her and squeezing them tightly. She had taken to doing this every time she saw the three Potter children.

As soon as they were released, the children dispersed. Lily grabbed Hugo's hand and ran off to a corner of the room where they sat and began to talk with Lucy and Dominique, Albus meandered over to Rose and Louis while James found himself sitting with Teddy in a rather large armchair, vaguely aware of the older boy's conversation with Victoire. His eyes were drooping and he had to keep pinching himself to stay awake. As he sat in the puffy, old, red chair, James's eyes wandered towards Lily and Al occasionally,verifying their safety.

To keep himself from drifting off, James began to watch everyone else as well, just to give himself something to do. He was at an awkward age in that almost everyone else in his family as either younger than him or much older than him. For example, Teddy, who was already working with the Ministry to assure rights for were-wolfs, having graduated from Hogwarts three years ago. Or Victoire, who had graduated the year James, Lily, and Al had been taken and was now apprenticing with Ginny at _The Daily Prophet _as a journalist.

His hazel eyes shifted to the twins, Fred and Roxanne, both of which were in their final year at Hogwarts. The two were idly sipping from glasses that most definitely contained something stronger than butter-beer as they talked with Frank Longbottom, who was in his sixth year. Frank's little siblings, Alice and Sarah, who were both Al's age, had drifted over to play with Lorcan and Lysander Scamander, Luna's blond twins who were a year younger than Lily.

"James?"

He jumped, looking up at the person who had spoke.

The eye color Teddy had chosen for the occasion was a deep penetrating blue that James found rather unnerving as Teddy's eyes looked down at him.

"Are you alright?" The metamorphmagus asked.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" James replied. He was getting rather tired of being asked that question.

"You look dead on your feet." Teddy informed him. "And you're falling a sleep." There was a hint of concern in his voice.

"Just a little bored is all." He lied.

"I suppose there isn't really anything for you to do here." Teddy mused.

At that moment, Victoire came back towards them, her flowy blond hair swishing as she walked. "Mum says it is time for dinner." She informed the groups of children scattered around the room.

They all rose to their feet, scuttling towards the kitchen to get some of Mrs. Weasley's amazing food.

James found himself sitting in between Lily and Albus, picking at some excellent chicken, but feeling rather full without having eaten more than a few bites. All the warmth, good food, and mindless talk was pleasant and James found himself lulled even deeper into his sleepy state. He yawned, forcing another bite of chicken into his mouth. He chewed slowly, relishing the taste, before swallowing and immediately regretting it. It seemed that he could no longer eat much without feeling sick.

James put down his fork and leaned back in his chair, wishing the wave of nausea away. He attempted to focus his thoughts of the nausea by once again evesdropping on various conversations of his relatives.

After listening to discussions about boys, girls, muggle TV shows, and other such things, James noticed his father intently whispering to Uncle Ron across the table.

"...no sign at all. It's like they've disappeared." Harry was whispering, leaning over to talk into Ron's ear.

James strained to hear more of the conversation.

Ron bit his lip worriedly. "That is worrying, Harry. I'm hesitant to let even my children out of sight."

"It's really affecting the kids, especially James." Harry sighed.

"I can imagine." Ron replied.

At that moment, a wave of nausea so powerful washed over James and he had no choice but to abruptly stand up, drawing the attention of most of the table. "Bathroom." He muttered, running off.

Seconds later found him kneeling in front of the toilet, desperately heaving and retching. The meager contents of his stomach had already exited, but his stomach continued to protest, wracking his thin frame with dry heaves.

"James!" His mother's worried voice reached his ears.

He moaned softly, dry-heaving once more.

A soothing hand he recognized as his father's was rubbing his back.

"Oh, love!" Ginny exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us you weren't feeling well?"

"-was feelin' fine." James mumbled. "Think I- think I may have eaten too much."

"Either way," Ginny said decisively. "we're taking you home."

"Agreed." Harry rose to his feet, helping James, who had finally stopped retching, up. "Come on, Jamie."

"'mfine." James tried, but they wouldn't hear it.

"No, you are obviously not, love." Harry said gently as Ginny put her hand to James's cheek to check for a temperature.

"You're burning up!" She exclaimed.

At that moment, Ron and Hermione came walking over.

"What's wrong?" The latter questioned.

"Is he okay?" Ron added.

"I think he's getting ill." Ginny replied, helping Harry to escort James to the sofa.

"Oh dear." Hermione pursed her lips. "Maybe, Lily and Al should come home with us tonight?"

Harry and Ginny exchanged uneasy glances. Especially around this time of year, they were hesitant to have their children out of their radius of protection.

"Perhaps." Ginny said carefully. "If they feel like it."

James was starting to feel bad. He just had to go an get sick. He was supposed to be the _strong _one! And now because of him, Lily and Albus wouldn't be as safe as he'd like. They wouldn't even be at home over their break! "Really," He made an effort to sound less tired than he felt. "I'm perfectly alright." It seemed, however, James's body would not allow him to lie anymore. Even as he uttered the words, his body betrayed his mind and a dull throbbing began in his head. His words came out as a pathetic croak, seemingly doing nothing but convincing the adults of his sickness.

"Lily! Al!" Ginny called while Harry busied himself by carding his hand through James's hair.

James grabbed his father's hand, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "Please don't call them in here." He whispered. He didn't want Lily and Albus seeing him in such a weak state.

Harry looked at him oddly, but nodded. "They won't hear you, Gin." He said, rising from his position of crouching next to James. "I'll go talk to them."

He left the room, glancing back at James with concern one more time.

James shut his eyes, willing the head ache, which had escalated dramatically in the passing minutes, to go away. He was aware of Ginny's hand feeling his hot forehead, her hand sweeping fringes of hair.

Harry strolled back into the room, taking in the pitiful sight of his oldest, lying on the couch, eyes shut tightly, looking almost dead. As upset as he was that James was sick, he couldn't help but feel hopeful. Perhaps now, James would finally open up. It was obvious he wasn't doing well. He had to admit though, he had been quite hesitant to leave Lily and Albus with Ron and Hermione. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, of course he did! He worried about his children though, and having them in Hogwarts for most of the reason was nerve-wracking enough. When they were home, he preferred to keep them close. When he had gone to ask their opinion, he had been sure that they too would be hesitant. However, without even knowing the issue or Hermione's preposition, they had begged to have a sleep-over with Rose and Hugo. He wasn't sure if this was good or not, but he supposed if they felt comfortable not being near Ginny and him, or Minerva and Neville, they were getting better.

"What did they say?" Ginny asked.

Harry gave a little laugh. "I didn't even get a chance to ask them. They had already been planning a sleepover. I had to tell them it was fine, but James couldn't come. They didn't even realize he was sick, they're having so much fun."

Despite his state, James smiled. He was happy that his little siblings were enjoying themselves.

Ginny laughed, she was happy too. "Alright then, we should get going."

"Mum, it's fine." James groaned. "I don't want you two missing out."

"We aren't, don't worry." Ginny assured him.

"And we aren't stupid." Harry added. "It is very evident that you are _not _fine."

James opened his mouth to protest but found himself unable to do so. He really was very, very, tired. "Okay." He murmured meekly.

"Good boy." Harry ruffled his hair. "Come on, let's get you home."

Before long, Ginny and Harry had James home and in his bed.

"You just rest, go to sleep." Ginny urged. "If you aren't feeling better in the morning, we'll go to St. Mungos."

James nodded wearily and they left the room, shutting the light.

The fourteen year old sighed. More than anything, he really wanted to sleep. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement, his body was screaming at him to just close his eyes and go to sleep. His mind protested, a constant whisper of doubt and insecurity. He wasn't safe when he slept. He couldn't keep anyone safe when he slept. He wasn't strong when he slept. All his walls collapsed when he slept.

_"Maybe they won't though." _He thought. "_Maybe I really am okay. After all, if I'm able to pretend I'm not affected all this time, I probably just am fine. I'm making too big a deal out of this." _

He would be fine. He _was _fine.

With that thought in mind, the tired child closed his eyes and let the dark bliss of sleep over-take him.

* * *

BANG.

James jumped to his feet as the door was thrown open. "What do you want?" He demanded of the entering Death Eaters.

They ignored him, one of them simply waving their wand and sending him collapsing back to the floor.

"Leave him alone!" Albus piped up bravely. "He just asked a question."

"Al, don't." James hissed. "Let me handle it."

The cold, shrill laughter of Alecto filled the air. "He really is like his father, this one." She trilled.

"Yes, yes, never mind." A rather bored voice spoke.

"Oh come now, Travers!" Alecto pouted. "Let me have a _little _fun at least."

"Not yet." Travers replied.

"Oh shut up both of you." Dolohov's voice boomed. He turned to the three children. "Muchkins, it's time for your first little challenge."

Lily gave a little squeak, she couldn't do any real magic yet.

"What about Lily." James said at once.

Dolohov tossed a stick across the floor, a wand. "It used to be some mud-blood's. She better learn to use it."

Lily's pale hand cautiously grabbed the wand, pulling it towards her.

James rose to his feet again. "I don't understand. What are you gaining fro this? Kidnapping us, okay that I sort of get, but why make us do ridiculous things like that!?"

"Why you insolent little-" Travers began threateningly, but he was cut off by Dolohov.

"Well, we don't want you munchkins getting bored." He drawled sarcastically.

"Funny, I've never heard of a kidnapper who cares." James retorted. "Now, I think we deserve to know the truth before we agree to participate in any of this." He liked to pretend they actually had a choice.

It seemed Dolohov was quite prone to mood swings, suddenly, he waved his wand, sending James flying towards him. Dolohov grasped the scruff of James's shirt. "You don't _get _to agree." He hissed. He raised his hand, viciously back-handing the boy in his grasp, sending James's head to the side with a resounding whack.

"JAMES!" Lily shrieked as Al gasped.

James, however, simply turned back to face Dolohov, ignoring the throbbing of his cheek. "Hit me all you want, but at least tell me what you want from me!" He yelled.

Dolohov growled like an angry bull, throwing James to the floor. "Fine, you aren't getting out of here anyway. You and your little siblings will be searching for some..._important _things we need. Books, items, ingredients. Currently, you are in a building which contains all these things, it is, however, an old underground storage set up by the founders of Hogwarts to store different supplies and plan for the school."

"Why don't you just get them yourselves?" James demanded. "Why have us do it?"

"Let's just say, we have other, more important things to do, and it's much to dangerous for us to be risking. Our lives are, after all, more important."

To everyone in the room's surprise, James laughed. He lay on the floor, rolling around as peals of laughter left his mouth, echoing off the walls.

Lily and Albus were staring at him with fright as they heard Travers mumble; "I wasn't expecting one of them to go mad so quickly."

"I'm not insane!" James laughed. "It's just really funny."

"How so?" Growled Alecto.

"Because, I've read about this place. Well, theories about it. When the founders left it, Helga Hufflepuff was worried about what it may become used for. She and Rowena Ravenclaw, or so the rumors say, placed a spell on the place so that most of it could only be accessed by 'those of good mind and heart'." He chuckled again. "It isn't that you don't want to risk your lives, you aren't cowards, its that you're being rejected by a _building!_ Even an old, dusty, useless, storage doesn't like you, and it doesn't even have a mind!"

He stopped laughing soon, though.

With another growl, Dolohov charged forward, kicking out at the boy on the floor. Taken by surprise, James yelped, rolling away.

Travers and Alecto grabbed Dolohov's arms, holding him back. "Let me get him." Dolohov growled. "Let me just kill him, the insolent little prick!"

"Antonin, No!" Alecto screamed. "We need him! The others may not be able to get the items without him!"

"I don't care, he needs to be reigned in!"

"What are you going to do!?" James provoked. He was hoping that if he angered the man enough, Dolohov would attack him and let Lily and Albus be. Maybe they wouldn't have to go on any 'challenge' in which one of them could get hurt. He at least wanted time to show Lily a few things to do with her new wand. She couldn't just get thrown into magic with no training. "You heard your colleague! You _need _me! And by the way, for the record, I don't just think the building is rejecting you because you're a _terrible _person. You aren't too intelligent either."

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, James's plan worked.

Dolohov shook of Alecto and Travers, once again grabbing James. "Crucio!"

James writhed on the floor, fighting to not scream, tears were streaming down his face and his resolve broke. An agonized scream left his mouth.

"JAMES!" This time both Lily and Albus were crying too.

"DOLOHOV!" Travers pulled the man away, braking the cruciatus curse's effect.

"Get off!" Dolohov threw Travers off again and began kicking at James, over and over again.

"Leave him alone, please leave him alone!" Albus was begging as Lily cried.

"I-I'm fine!" James tried to yell at him between assaults, but it was almost impossible. All he could do was try to move away from the flying feet.

"Stop it!" Lily screamed as James screamed.

And then it all went black.

* * *

"JAMES! JAMES!"

The black haired boy gasped awake, sitting up quickly, sweat pouring down his face, fear in his wide brown eyes.

Harry and Ginny stood at the foot of his bed, concern on their faces.

"What happened, love?" Ginny asked.

"N-nothing. I don't know what you're talking about." James replied.

"Jamie," Harry said carefully. "You were screaming."

"I-I, no I wasn't." He stuttered. " "I'm fine, okay?"

"James-"

"I'm fine!" He yelled. "Please, just leave me alone."

Harry and Ginny exchanged worried looks, an unspoken agreement passing between them. "Okay, love." Harry whispered. "If you need anything, call us, okay?"

"I'm fine." James repeated.

As his parents walked out the door, glancing back at him and shutting off the light, James turned away, tears stinging his brown eyes.

He wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

* * *

**Author's Note: Hi! So, update! Yay! Even though it wasn't really happy. **

**Anyway, Happy Memorial day to all who celebrate, and even those that don't. I would like to thank all the soldiers and veterans who serve their countries and risk their lives to better the war. You are true heroes and will always have my truest and utmost respect. Thank you for all you do. **

**So, I hope you like the chapter! Please review and tell me what you think!**

**~Foureverbookworm**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

Harry James Potter strolled into Hogwarts with a purposeful air. He had been meaning to do this for a while now, but he had just gotten the chance. The hallways of the usually packed castle were empty for the first time that Harry could remember. He had never really been there in summer. He knew the way to McGonagall's office by heart and soon he found himself knocking on a sturdy wooden door at the top of a long staircase. Momentarily, the door was thrown open by a familiar woman.

She did not look too different from when Harry himself had been at school. Still, perhaps that was because he still saw her quite regularly. People tend to not notice changes in another's appearance over short periods of time. McGonagall's once graying black hair was now almost completely gray and there were more wrinkles on her face in addition to the preexisting smile lines and frown lines. She still stood as regally as ever in her emerald green robes and tall witch's' hat. Her green eyes were fixed on him with slight worry in them. "Harry," she smiled. "Good, you're here."

"Hello, Professor." Harry greeted, entering the office.

McGonagall lead him towards her desk, behind which was the portraits of all the former headmasters and headmistresses of Hogwarts. "I'll let you talk." She whispered, walking away.

Harry scarcely heard her though. His green eyes were fixed on the piercing blue ones of an old man in a portrait. "Hello, Professor Dumbledore."

Dumbledore smiled. "Hello. Harry." His smile faded. "I take that things are not going well?"

Harry scoffed. "I wouldn't be here if they were." He ran a hand through his rumpled hair tiredly. "They aren't getting better. And I know, that a year really isn't as long a time as it seems, but I don't know how to help them without knowing what happened. I _need _to know!"

Dumbledore continued to look at him pensively. "But you do know."

"No! I know next to nothing!" Harry exclaimed. "I know they were kidnapped by Death Eaters and tortured. That is it. I don't know why, I don't know what happened, I just don't know! And I want to help them, I really do. They're my children, I love them more than anything and it is killing me to see them like this. What do I do?"

Dumbledore was silent for a few minutes, studying the stressed man in front of him. "You over-estimate me, Harry." He said at last.

"What?"

"It's quite flattering, I admit." He continued. "But, I do not have the solution to everything."

"You have _no _suggestions what so ever?!" Harry yelped.

"I have nothing." Dumbledore replied serenely. "If they are not prepared to talk about it, I'm not sure how you could learn the details. Unless, of course, you chose to use legilimency or a pensieve."

"I am not going to invade my children's minds." Harry said coldly.

"Nor do I expect you to." Dumbledore continued calmly. "I was merely saying." There was another moment of silence. "Harry, you cannot do anything to force the truth to become something you too know. All you can do is wait until they are ready."

"So, so, there is _nothing _I can do?" Harry asked desperately.

"Nothing." Dumbledore confirmed.

"Great." Harry murmured sarcastically. "That's perfect, thanks."

"Harry..." Dumbledore began.

"What?"

"Try talking to them again. Maybe now they may be more willing to talk."

"I've tried I-" Harry trailed off. "I've only tried James..." He realized.

It was true. For some reason, Harry had it in his mind that no one was going to talk until James did. He wasn't sure why, but that had seemed so logical to him. He had figured that James, as the oldest, was the most likely to know that it was important that Harry knew what had happened. He had thought James would have been able to explain it better, to heal faster. He _had_ expected what he had been telling James he _didn't _expect.

Dumbledore continued to peer at him from behind those half-moon spectacles. "Well, perhaps instead of asking me, you should be asking the other Albus, or Lily."

Harry nodded. "Right, thanks!" Waving goodbye to the man in the portrait, he hurried from the office, ready to do whatever it took.

* * *

James lay on his bed, flipping through the pages of a book. He was trying to read it, but for some reason, his body kept interrupting him with loud coughing fits making it rather hard to concentrate. Right at that moment, another bout of hacking coughs assaulted his body, causing him to curl into a ball. After the loud coughs subsided, James let out a moan of misery, water was filling his eyes from the affair. He felt absolutely terrible.

"James..." Ginny was standing in the doorway. "Please go to sleep, you need to rest, love."

"I'm fine." He attempted a grin. "Just something caught in my throat. When are Lily and Al getting back?"

"They should be back any minute now." Ginny answered, walking over and sitting down on the bed next to James, pulling him into an embrace. "What are you reading?"

James gestured to the book. "It's a muggle book, Emma gave it to me. It's about this man who's trying to travel around the world in 80 days, apparently that's difficult for muggles."

Ginny peered at the book. "Around The World in 80 Days?"

"It's aptly named." James said.

"Very." His mother agreed.

James opened his mouth to say something, but ended up wracking with another fit of coughing.

Ginny looked at him worriedly, placing a cool hand on his sweaty forehead. "James!" She exclaimed. "You're burning up!"

"I'm fine!" James repeated. There was the sound of footsteps in the room downstairs. "They're home." He pushed himself off the bed. "Better go down."

Ginny sighed, rising to her feet and following him out the door.

* * *

Lily and Albus collapsed on to the couch in their living room. Sure, they had fun while at the Weasley's, but, they had overestimated their capacity to stay away from home. Without James or their parents, the new setting had been frightening. Of course, they had known that nothing was going to happen, that Ron and Hermione would keep them safe, but still, every corner of the house was approached carefully. Nightmares assaulted them at night and without James there to comfort them, it had been hard to feel safe. In school it was a little better, at least they knew the surroundings well, this time it had been like they were just starting Hogwarts again.

Hermione stood by the fire, waiting for Ginny or Harry to appear before she flooed back. She had felt so utterly helpless the night before while her niece and nephew screamed and everything she tried did nothing to ease them. However, both had been adamant about staying there when she had offered to take them home. They had wanted James to rest since he was sick.

At that moment, said brother appeared, followed closely by Ginny.

Hermione had to admit, the eldest Potter child did not look good. His skin was paler than usual and his eyes had that distinct watery and bloodshot look that hinted at a fever. There were dark bags under his eyes as well. Despite his obviously bad state, the boy smiled, happy to see his siblings back safe.

"Hullo!" He smiled as he went to sit next to both of them.

"Hi." Lily yawned, snuggling up to him.

Hermione looked at the siblings fondly. She did love the relationship they had. "Feeling better James?" She asked, though she was sure he wasn't.

"Yup, thanks for asking, Aunt Hermione!" He quipped, not quite able to hold back a cough.

Hermione raised her eyebrows and Ginny sighed. "Well, thanks for bringing them, Hermione." She said tiredly. "I hope everything went well?"

Hermione began to talk to Ginny in a low whisper, making it unable for the kids to hear her.

Meanwhile, James turned to Al and Lily.

"You really don't look good." The former said.

"I'm fine." James waved him off. "Just ate too much last night. How was it? Did you have fun?"

Lily and Al exchanged looks.

"What?" James asked, suddenly alarmed. "What happened!?"

"It was just-just kinda...hard.." Al muttered. "Being away from home or Hogwarts...It was scary." He looked a little ashamed.

"And-and we had nightmares." Lily added, shuddering a little. "And you weren't there to help!"

Guilt flowed through James like a river. He should have been there. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" They asked together.

"For not being there." The older boy replied, not able to meet his siblings' eyes. _"For not protecting you." _He thought to himself. He had failed, yet again, to protect his siblings. Despite his efforts, he had failed.

"James!" Lily cried, throwing her arms around him. "You were sick! Don't blame yourself! Please don't!"

Al too put his arm around his dramatic sister and desolate brother. However, he was not paying too much attention. His brain was whirring as for the first time, a possibility struck him. Perhaps, just perhaps, James wasn't as okay as he seemed.

* * *

Harry was quick to get back home. He was anxious to ask his younger children about their experience. He _had _to know. He jumped into the house, bursting with apprehension. "Lily, Al, I need to talk to you!" He blurted as he barreled into the main room, causing all three of his children to jump.

"God, Dad!" Al squeaked. "Did you have to do that?"

"Sorry! James go to your room!" Harry said hastily.

"What did I do?" He yelped.

"Nothing, just go!" Harry ordered. He _had _to find out what had happened as soon as possible. The father was determined to uncover the truth so he could help his children and he was not going to wait any longer.

"Why?" James challenged. "Why do you want to talk to them alone!? What do you want with them!?" Always the protective one, he was.

"James, I'm not a Death Eater, now go!" Harry almost yelled. He felt bad immediately as he watched James flinch and step back, eyes down cast. Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. He spoke again, his voice quieter. "I'm sorry, James. I-Look, this is for their good, and your good, okay?"

James sighed back, nodding and walking away, shooting a concerned glance over his shoulder every now and a then.

"Why did you make James leave?" Lily asked as soon as said boy was gone.

"Because, I need to talk to you two." Harry gestured to the couch. "Sit."

"Dad, what's going on?" Al asked.

"Al, Lily, I know this is hard," Harry began. "But I need you tell me what happened in France last year."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Hi... I know it's been a while, but I've been busy. I have a lot going on that I am trying to get through and sometimes, it's hard for me to find the time and will to write because this summer has been really tiring. I'm not saying I'll never update again, but expect them to not be too frequent. I'm sorry, but it's the best I can do.**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter, sorry it's short. Please review.**

**~Foureverbookworm**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize :)**

* * *

**Author's Note: *waves* Hi... I'm back. I apologize for the long gap between updates, but I had a lot going on and I needed to take a break. I'm doing better now, but I am still a little weary of making a commitment to updating. I hope you guys can understand that long gaps between updates are likely to be frequent. I apologize for this, but I will do the best I can. Thanks!**

**~Foureverbookworm**

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Wh-what?!" Lily yelped.

"We already told you, dad." Albus looked confused and a little weary. "They kidnapped us, t-tortured us, m-made us d-do things, then we escaped. That's it." That's all he wanted to say.

"_What things_?" Harry asked. "I need details, Al."

Lily had begun to rock back and forth, her knees drawn t her head. "Stuff." She murmured. "The challenges. G-getting them things. B-books, p-potions, f-from the house."

"The Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff house?" Harry prompted.

"Yes." Al's face had gone very white. "A-and if w-w-we d-didn't..." His eyes seemed glazed.

Harry seemed oblivious to this. "What exactly would the challenges be like?" He asked.

"Scary." Lily murmured, still rocking back and forth. "Los of puzzles, jumps, and it was c-cold. So cold. No one was allowed to get hurt."

"But, i-it was i-impossible. W-we always g-g-got hurt. B-burns, b-bruises." Albus stuttered.

"I need details!" Harry pushed, though he was starting to get a bad feeling, he ignored it.

Suddenly, Lily screamed. "Don't! Stop! Stop! Stop! James! Jaaames! Al's trapped! Jaames!"

Albus, who was still very white, looked alarmed as he began trying to calm Lily down as she screamed for James.

"James! Help, James! We're both trapped!" Lily began to cry. "They're gonna hurt us James! I didn't mean to! I don't know magic! Help, James! Help!"

Like a flash of lightning, James was running down the stairs and beside his sister in an instant, pulling her into his arms and whispering to her soothingly, stroking her hair and rocking her gently. He looked to Al. "Alright, Albus?" He asked.

The boy nodded.

James switched his look to his father, glaring. "What did you say to them? What did you do?"

Harry was staring the whole scene with shock. What had he done? "I- I didn't mean to! I don't know! I just asked them what happened."

James scowled, looking at his father fiercely. "I don't know _why _you want to know answers, but if you have to know them, you get them from _me_. **Don't **mess with Al and Lily."

Harry continued to look dumbfounded, but nodded.

Lily, who had finally calmed down, was curled into James's chest, sleeping, obviously exhausted from the ordeal. James carefully picked her up and carried her to the larger sofa, laying her down on it and covering her with a blanket. He kissed her forehead softly before leaving her be and walking out of the room, beckoning to Albus to follow.

Harry just sat there feeling like a terrible father. How was his son able to take charge of things like that?

* * *

"You sure you're okay, Al?" James asked once the two were out of the living room.

Albus went to nod, but found himself unable to. "If Lily hadn't cracked, I would've soon." He whispered.

James embraced him comfortingly, pulling his younger brother's head to his chest. "It's okay, Al. Anybody would have."

"_You _wouldn't have." Albus mumbled. "How are you so okay, James?"

James opened his mouth, not too sure how to reply. "I just am, don't you worry about me. You just focus on yourself, okay?"

Albus nodded, pulling away from his brother, feeling a lot like a small child, but not really minding.

"Why don't you go up to your room and I'll check on Lily then we can play a game of gobstones or something?"

Albus nodded again and scurried up the steps.

James sighed, running a hand through his tangled black hair. He walked into the living room where Harry was sitting, gently stroking a sleeping Lily's hair. "James..." The father began, but James cut him off.

"It's fine, Dad. Just don't, don't mess with them."

Harry nodded. "I'm sorry."

"How is she?" James asked, nodding his head towards Lily, who was shifting a little in her sleep.

Before Harry could answer, Lily's eyes fluttered open. "Jamie?" She murmured, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Hey, Lils." He said softly. "How're you?"

She smiled a little. "I'm okay."

"I'm so sorry, Flower." Harry apologized.

"It's fine, Daddy." She said.

"Al and I were going to play a game, you want to come?" James asked his little sister, who nodded.

As the two ran up the stairs to Al's room, Harry sighed. All he had succeeded to do was upset his children. He hadn't even learned anything.

Running his hand through his hair, he walked into his study and began the process of continuing the search for the bastards who had done this to his children.

* * *

James lay in bed that night, coughing, feeling cold and feverish. It seemed perhaps his mother had been right, perhaps he was ill. He still refused to let this be known. Though his family had urged him to rest, he found himself unable and unwilling to sleep. Instead, he wondered.

He wondered the same thing his father did. It was something he had been wondering for a very long time. Why. Why did those Death Eaters need those items to be taken from the house? Why would they go through the lengths of capturing three children and torturing them into submission in order to get them? They had not seemed like any sort of dangerous items. Trinkets, spellbooks, vials of potions. So why had they wanted them?

James absentmindedly ran his hand over his stomach, tracing a long scar that marred it. He had gotten that when he asked the questions that still permeated his mind. They had been forthcoming with many plans, but that one, that one they had been so secretive about. It wasn't that he hadn't asked more than once. He had. It had always been risky though. He had never been able to know if they would punish him or his siblings.

James shut his brown eyes, visualizing his siblings thrashing on the floor. He could hear their screams. Hear his own screams. His eyes flew open.

Quietly, he got to his feet, pulling on a hoodie and dressing gown. He grabbed a blanket of his bed and slipped a pair of slippers, padding softly out of his room and down the stairs. He crept along the eerily silent and dark house to the largest room there was. The library.

It was a voluminous room with a high arching ceiling, lit by candles suspended in the air. His Aunt Hermione had enchanted it to resemble the Hogwarts ceiling as a house-warming present to Harry and Ginny. The room was lined with floor to ceiling windows, each of which was covered by elegant scarlet curtains that bulged where window seats were. The shelves that filled the room were tall oak ones, filled with books reaching all the way to the top shelves. Ladders were attached to each of these, allowing for the reach of higher up books. In the center was a cozy sitting area near which was a fireplace, embers still glowing in them though the fire had been extinguished.

Wrapping the blanket around him like a cape, James walked through the library, pulling several books off a shelf. He seated himself in front of the fireplace on a couch, opening the first book to the index.

"Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff House..." He murmured, tracing the "R's" with his finger. Finally, he located the page he was looking for and turned to it, beginning the long process of his research.

By the time early morning came around, he had fallen asleep on top of a large volume titled "Wizarding Buildings Through The Centuries!"

It was a peaceful sleep, for the first time in months.

* * *

The waves crashed against the shore below him making a sound that calmed him usually. Now, however, it only haunted him. Everything seemed so dark. The foggy grey sky was reflected in his matching eyes, his face and shockingly pale skin covered in soot. Only one thing seemed bright. That was the strikingly crimson liquid, dripping from his hands and landing onto the rocky ground underneath him. He stared at it numbly, not wanting to believe it was really there.

He felt so alone.

The words echoed in his head as he turned to stare at the choppy sea.

_"Run! Run! Run!" _

_"Hide in there! Quickly!" _

_"I love you. I'm sorry." _

_"No one can help me now. Find him. He can help you." _

_"Find him, find him, find him." _

_"Find Harry Potter." _

He turned away from the edge of the cliff top and ran.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Hey! I missed you guys! *kisses* Hope you liked the chapter! And sorry it took so long to write! **

**One little announcement: for a school project, I had to do a research study and my final project is a blog on writing characters and all. If y'all could check it out, that'd be amazing! Link is, minus the spaces: foureverbookwormwordpress**com. **wordpress**

**Other than that, thanks so much for reading! Drop a review if you liked it! And maybe y'all can guess who the person and the end was? ;) **

**Love you my lovelies! **

**~Foureverbookworm**


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